I wish I wasn't here today

Today, is one of those days that I wish that I had some where else to be, other than home with my kids. Sarah (the one month old) will not sleep or stay asleep anywhere other than my arms for a full nap. My back is not feeling very good after two days of this. While I am down stairs holding sleeping Sarah and helping Abby clean her room for a new bed she is getting, Daniel is upstairs all by himself. I know what you are thinking, "are you mad?" Yes, I am mad and desperate. I just want to get something productive done, so Daniel was flying solo upstairs.

I come up to find the water at the kitchen sink running on high pressure. The fridge door is wide open with the bar stool in the middle of the opened door. The peanut butter is on the counter with a knife that has strawberry jam on it, which is now in the peanut butter. The jam jar is completely empty, thanks to Daniel, of course.

Later on, I am at the computer while Abby and Daniel are playing downstairs and having fun. Who knows what mess will be left by that unattended event? I hear someone in the kitchen. I go to investigate, who is it? Daniel is standing at the counter, on the other side of the stove, on the stool, naked, except the diaper (this is normal attire lately) with a number ten can of my well loved homemade granola. There is a granola spill on the stove, the counter and inside the electric burners. I look at him with a patient smile, he takes his hands, picks up the granola and says, "see mom, I am picking up", with a pleasing smile. The first handful makes it into the can, but the second one ends up at his mouth, until I explain that isn't helping. So, then he just picks out a cranraisins and eats it.

This day is full of moments of, "I can't keep up" and so was yesterday, among many other days. How can anyone even think about a normal house when mom is holding a baby all day? One might ask, "why don't you just put her down more often to get things done". Well, if you really want to know, just read on. This little one needs a lot of sleep. If she doesn't get it, she doesn't sleep well at night or for her next nap even. The further she gets behind on sleep, the harder it is to handle her and get her to sleep again. It is an on going game with her. When will this phase end? I thought I saw light at the end of the tunnel when she took a one hour nap and a 1 1/2 hour nap in her crib two days ago. It was a miracle that I knew might not happen again. But I was hoping I was on the right track with her sleep, but I just can't find the solution.

I have typed this post while she is asleep in my lap on a pillow and nursing in my lap, also on a pillow. I hope to have happier things to right about later.